I think the summer of 2005 was when I started down the path that would lead me to where I am today. I need to start out and say that there has been plenty of diversions along the way that probably should have been avoided, but in the end I did manage to get where I really wanted to be and im well on my way now to actually making something worthwhile out of my life.
In summer of 2005, I found myself working a job I absolutely hated. I was installing alarms for a shady alarm company in southern California. It was meant to only be a summer job to make some money to pay for school the next year. Im sure anyone of the lds faith reading this or who has had any amount of exposure to mormons in general has encountered this phenomenon of apx or some other shady company trying to talk you into leveraging your mission learned skills of going door to door to sell alarms at amazing profits. Well since I know im not a salesman or at least im not a lair, I decided I would go along and do the installation of the alarms. Anyone considering this carrer path, please report to your local neurosurgeon for a lobotomy. You will thank me later. You will be abused beyond your wildest dreams, asked to drive 100s of miles on your own dollar and have the bar set impossibly high for you to qualify for the bonuses they lured you in for and be powerless to do anything about it because your bonuses are determined by the efficacy of the sales team. So don’t do that ok?
It was in the midst of this misery that I remembered the last time I was doing everything right. It was when I was in Rexburg in 2003. Yeah, Rexburg is a terrible place to go if you have even the slightest inclination to be a rebel because you will be miserable there. I was for a time, and that’s why I left because I determined that I did not like the rules they were forcing on me. Or so I thought. In retrospect, I probably should have stayed there in 2003 and been done with school by now, but then this story would almost definitely have a different ending and im pretty happy with the way its ending anyway. When I was there the first time, I remember enjoying being part of a ward and being super active and being involved in everything. I was for all intents and purposes the guy who I never thought I would be. I was the ward activity leader, and even though the girl I worked with had to twist my arm to get me to do stuff sometimes, if there is ever a chance ill run into her again, id just like to thank her for making me do that. So that was that and that was the thought I caught hold of and that was what made me decide to go back there.
When the opportunity to leave the job I hated so much presented itself, I snapped it up as fast as I could. I left that morning and drove back to las vegas and from there, the next day I went up to Utah to continue with school and start down another 2 years of delays…. Not a whole lot happened when I came back. I went to school for a while and learned what it meant to be addicted to a videogame. I still haven’t totally beaten my vice for all forms of electronic entertainment, though I know im on the way to where I need to be. So that’s a plus at least. I started working at red lobster and discovered how much fun that was and for a time I guess you could say that I was content with life being a waiter, waking up at 11 am and working at 4 and then hanging out with my friends til 3 or 4 am and doing it all over again the next day. That continued on into the summer of 2006 where I found myself being frustrated with my life at the time. I wanted to get out of there and have a fresh start somewhere. I went home and stayed with my parents again, and I have to say they were way too supportive and I have to thank them for that. They always have been and I suspect they always will be. That’s why I am preemptively volunteering to have them come live with me when theyre old and feeble. Ill make sure I build a nice guest house for them or something. Anyway, I was at home I worked at red lobster for a bit and realized that working in las vegas at a restaurant with a lot of burnt out 40 somethings with 3 kids and a dui isn’t nearly as fun as doing it in a college town with a bunch of your best friends. So I quit there and was jobless for a while. Luckily, the economy had not yet collapsed and in fact was just at the point where it was getting out of hand trying to buy a house with anything less than a million dollars. I was able to get a job as a clerk of sorts for a crappy real estate training company. I don’t think ive ever been so lazy in my life. And really I had become stagnant. i considered going to school in las vegas, but that idnt appeal at all to me and I caught hold of my original dream to go to Rexburg again. And then I did something about it!
My church activity in the years prior had been regular, just not at the same ward and certainly not the level of activity that I once enjoyed. So I figured I would have to work on that. I somehow wound up teaching the temple prep class at my singles ward. Let me tell you young men something, there is nothing more awkward in the world than me sitting in a room with 5 girls about to either go on missions or get married expecting me to be a great gospel resource. But it was a good and humbling experience. And that put me on the right path to go to Rexburg.
A few interviews, an application process and a lot of worrying over whether they would let me in or not, and I got a letter in the mail saying I was accepted. My prayers had been answered. January of 2007, I packed up my crap and headed up to Idaho. I drove for 10 hours in one day, made it to my friend tylers house and plopped myself on his couch. I had no idea what I was in for.
I can only imagine that some of the experiences I had my first semester back at school were for my benefit and taught me things like cleaning up after yourself. I don’t want to go into too many details so ill just say I had a really really messy roommate who in all honesty should not have been let out of the mental facility where he once resided. He was not fit to take care of himself. I also had the great fortune during that semester to have my appendix almost burst. That was a fun night. The best part of course was when I went to the student health center and was in so much pain I had to park wherever I could find a spot and limp to the door. I came out to drive myself to the stinking hospital and found a ticket on my car. I was upset to say the least and I did not pay that ticket. So take that BYUI police! I was a lonely wreck my fist semester up there and really my only social interaction consisted of me spending time with my married friend watching tv and eating at Chinese buffets/craigos.
Then, for the summer semester, I moved to a horrible place called aspen village, inhabited with wonderful people. And that, friends, is where I met megan.
A lot of people who have known me for a long time know that deep down I have always been somewhat of a hopeless romantic in that 80s nerd movie type of way. I enjoy the idea of being madly in love with a girl and winning her over with whatever cheesy trick or love song or sappy movie I can. Well when I met Megan, this was not really how things started off. They started off with me being annoyed that the hottest girl in our ward was rolling her eyes at my apparent lack of enthusiasm for playing missionary tag for our fhe activity. I don’t like to run much which I know must be a huge shock, but it’s the truth. And she does like to run, so figure that out.
Megan took a liking to my roommate brad as did her roommate dana. They both would come over and watch tv or whatever. This is when I saw my opportunity to strike! Megan was clearly out of my league and wouldn’t shut up about her guy on a mission, so I decided id focus my efforts on Dana. Still, not wanting to alienate either one of them, I stupidly proposed a deal. All three of them, my roommate brad, Megan and Dana, played softball with our ward. I told them that if they won a game, I would make them all pancakes. So of course they won every game after that besides the final one. It would go like this, I would go watch the softball game, they would win, and I would round us all up in my car, go to the store to get blueberries/whatever and make pancakes. That was good for a while.
I think the day it really became apparent that I needed to focus on megan was the day I realized that nothing was going on with Dana. I have to look back and give thanks that I ended up with the right person there. Since I figured Megan was a lost cause, I confided in her my disappointment that things didn’t work out and basically let my guard down like I would to my most trusted friends. We talked all night one night about my adventures with dating through high school and what a miserable existence that had been. How I had pretty much done everything wrong from the beginning with any girl that I had any interest in whatsoever, and yet saw no way this was ever going to change. I basically told her what could amount to the worlds most emo-y and myspacey and livejournaly rant about how life isn’t fair and blah blah blah. But since I felt I had no chance with her, I figured what would be the harm in letting an outsider see who I really am? Sure I act tough, and most of the time I am. Things don’t appear to bother me as much as maybe they do. I just needed a fresh perspective and here was one just waiting for me to ask.
And then something magical happened. I don’t know if she caught a glimpse of the wonderful person I like to think I am at times and realized who I really was, or if she gradually saw that I was really a pretty decent guy, but we started to hang out. A lot. And we started to grow closer, and go on dates and go to the movies and do all those things that people do when they fall in love without even realizing it. there were some pitfalls along the way, and looking back, had things gone differently, maybe we would have been married a long time ago, but that was the start. All during this time I kept thinking to myself, this has to be some sort of joke or hallucination. Surely in all my wildest dreams, I was not going to wind up with a person as good as megan was. She was everything I really could possibly want. She was a music major at the time and while im glad she has changed her major, I know how happy she was to have music be a significant part of her life and I was overjoyed that we had that in common. Even though our ideas of great music may be a bit different with respect to modern times (nsync? Really?) we both love the fundamental nature of what music is and I am ecstatic that she is going to be a musical presence in my life.
Another time, I discovered what a closet nerd she really was. For those of you out there unfamiliar with the culture of the true computer nerd, our dream girl has a few traits that while superfluous, certainly add to the package. Megan loves old Nintendo games, specifically super Mario 3 (arguably the best one anyway) and she shares this special love with me. Never in a million years did I think I would wind up with someone who not only tolerates videogames, but actively seeks out and enjoys them. Now I would be omitting important details if I didn’t mention that megan routinely wipes the floor with me when it comes to competitive play, so there that is. Megan and I are evenly matched at Mario kart for the most part, but she embarrasses me so bad when we play tekken or smb3 that it pains me to type this.
Megan also has a deep rooted love of surfing the internet. We have gone out and done some stuff in our day, but most of my fondest memories with her involve sitting on the couch, watching good eats, and taking facebook quizzes. Its difficult to sum up in words what a perfect match she is for me, so ill stop trying and just say that from the moment I was 6 and played Oregon trail for the first time, I have been a nerd and megan has accepted that and embraced it. Ill end this nerdcentric portion of this post by recounting the occasion of our first kiss. I cant remember where we were or what we had done prior, but just before the night was over, I guess my 6th sense picked up on the signal she was throwing out there, and I went in for it. most of you don’t know this, but megan sometimes wears glasses. I used to wear them exclusively cause I lost my contacts. Well anyway, we both had our glasses on and before I actually kissed her, our glasses clinked. It was embarrassing but in the sort of way that it becomes a part of your identity as a couple and to this day, I smile every time I remember the sound of 2 nerds kissing. Its ‘clink’
The final thing that pushed me over the edge of infatuation and into the wonderful bottomless ocean of love was our common struggle to overcome our problems and work toward the final goal of our religion. Me and megan have been through some tough times. We have been apart for long periods, and we have gone through lots of financial burdens together. Through it all we have remained together and we have continually renewed our efforts to follow the gospel and to work toward our everlasting life and exaltation. I know that our trials have been like a refiners fire and I know that I can count on her to be there, sweet as always when im going through a difficult time, and I know that she can count on me to be there and be reassuring and helpful when shes a bit down. And I know that when were both down, we both have the same source to turn to for guidance and reassurance. In no unclear terms, the thing I know I love most about megan is her continuing effort to better herself by applying the principles of our faith. She is not perfect, I am less perfect still; we are both determined to become so.
I love megan because she inspires me to be the best I can. I met her in the most unlikely of places and through the most convoluted network of acquaintances I can imagine. Looking back the only thing I would change is meeting her earlier so that I could know this level of joy for that much longer.
